Realization Time

Realization time, things that I realized were stupid and tv shows that I love watching have good points in them.  At school it was a super boring day, I had to do my science homework which I haven't finished and then I got spanish homework and I have math and comacad too.  So much homeowork and it's all due monday.  Plus I have to do the high school exit exam english again because I didn't pass it last year and that's on tuesday.  So I was watching The Middle at lunch and tutorial and it was about how Axl had to do summer school because he failed english and Brick had a tomato plant that he grew.  Then there was Sue, she was the invisible one and nobody knew that she was gone when she was helping her family get Axl's paper back.  I realized that it seems that I always get the ends of things and that nobody notices me.  I feel just like Sue.  So my sister has a little cold and she got to stay home because of her ashma.  What the fuck?  I was coughing out a lung from the beginning of school for like 3 weeks and I didn't get to stay home.  I got myself up and ready for school everyday.  So the baby gets to stay home and I don't.  That is some favoritisom right there.  Same with my brother,  he has a smartphone and my mom seems to care about him more.  I mean really.  I have had the same stupid crappy phone for 3 years and I am due for an upgrade but haven't gotten it yet.  My mom says that she will get me an iphone but I haven't seen it happen yet.  Now it's the weekend and I have so much fucking homework and I don't think I will do basketball this weekend, it just seems like to much for me to do. 

Horrible Day

It okay day at school.  My AW teacher didn't really help me on my paper that is due friday but I did get 2 extra credit stamps in spanish, so that was good.  I am finished with the paper but my mom is going to edit it for me and then she will send it back.  I saw the guy that I really like at the end of the school day and he didn't even say hi to me.  Then once I got onto facebook I realized that he is in a fucking relationship with a girl with blonde hair.  What the hell?  I thought that my best friend was right, that me and him would end up together and have kids and be happy.  Well last year I tried to ask him out but then he said that he just wanted to hangout with his guy friends and he didn't want to deal with the drama.  Now he is back in a relationship with a blonde bitch from Redwood.  I just looked at facebook again, which was a bad idea because I saw that another guy that I really like is in a relationship too.  He is in one with a girl who is in comacad with me and she rides horses.  Why is this happening to me?  It seems like all the guys that I like are being in relationships.  I am going to die old by myself with many dogs.  My mom was going to help me when she go home but now she is going to make dinner and then take my brother to best buy to get his phone working again.  I guess that the child in the middle is the invisible one.  They always seem to get the end of something.  I wish that somehow I wasn't invisible at school and that guys liked me and maybe it could be the Awkward show and I would be Jenna and one of the guys would be Matty and the other one Jake. 

Pain

Well yesterday was okay.  I had a really long day at school and I thought that it would never end.  I had science first with one of the guys that I like and all I could do was look at his gorgoues blonde hair.  Also because he sits in front on me.  Then I had math and that was really boring, I really don't like math.  Last I had comacad and I worked on my day in a life video and I never finished it but hopefully I can finish it tomorrow in class even though it's due.  Then I came home and I was really grumpy because I didn't want to go to basketball pre-season.  But my mom wanted me to go, so I did and it was the hardest hour and a half in my life.  Now I am in a lot of pain and last night I had a really bad muscle cramp.  I seem to only get those when I am doing basketball. 

date September 25, 2012

HOT guy/ iphone

So this day was interesting.  I went to lunch with my mom because I had no school.  We went to a sweet little italian resturant in Novato and then we went to the DMV.  I had to do my permit test again and guess what freakin' happened.  I failed it again but by one this time.  I swear this test hates me or something.  The only good thing that happened was that after that me and my mom went to starbucks and a got a mocha frap.  Then we went to Big 5, so that I could get basketball shoes for the first open gym tomorrow.  At Big 5, the person that was helping us was this really HOT guy.  He had blonde hair and he was super sweet and helpful.  He reminded me of Jake Rosati from Awkward.  But his name was Tim.  After we got the shoes, my mom told me that she was going to get me an iphone but it wasn't going to be the new one but that's okay to me because if I get an iphone that is awesome to me.  I was so happy that made my day so much better.  I realized when bad things happen that maybe right after, a good thing will come along and for me that's what happened today.   So overall it was a good day.  But tomorrow I have school again.  Pooooooooooo........

Gift

Well I was really upset for part of the day because it's that time of the month.  My sister was asking me why I was crying and I told her it was because of life but then she said no crying in this house because we are a happy family.  I was like are you kidding because my family is not a happy one.  So when I was home, I went out on my bike to barnes and noble and big 5.  Once my mom, dad and sister met me, I felt so much better.  I think all I needed was time to myself, like my therapist said.  I bought myself some smencils and even though my sister wanted some too, I did get her any.  I feel a lot better now then I did earlier today. 

FRIDAY

Well it was a good day at school.  I did the retake for my math test which was the first thing that I did this morning.  I think that I did a whole lot better than the first time.  Geometry doesn't stick in my head.  I had spanish after and all we did was Finding Nemo which was really fun because we had a subtute teacher.  The movie wasn't even in spanish it had spanish subtitles.  We had to draw what was happening in the movie.  The last class of my day was government which we just went to the lab and were working on our papers which are due next friday.  When I got home I started to watch TV and then my best friend Angie came over for a little bit and we watched our favorite show, AWKWARD.  It was the finale of season 2 which means we will have to wait awhile until the 3rd season will be showing.  My sister, mom and I went to the store to get a movie and to get breakfast items.  My sister wanted to sit in the front seat on the way to the store, so she did.  But then she wanted to sit in the front again on the way home but I was going to sit there.  My therapist that is at school said that I have to find time to make myself happy and put myself first and then other people.  So I was going to sit in the front but then I gave it to my sister and made her happy.  How am I supposed to do that when I have a younger sister who gets what she wants.  Or else she will throw a fit.   My mom and dad are fighting again but it's only a little stupid thing.  Also my sister was being rude to me because I was using her pillow but she has 2 and I only have 1.   Once again I feel like I have no voice or if I do where is it?  When I spend time with my friend, I feel happy but when I am by myself at school, looking at all the happy couples and all the people who have friends to talk to.  I feel invisible. 

Wednesday

This morning was freakin' weird there was a cop at my usual bus stop area, so then I rode my bike all the way to school.  It was really hard but I got there  at the same time as if I took the bus.  When I was at school, it was a really boring day.  I watched beverly hills nannies in advisory because I had no homework to do.   I saw Miles Phillips there, he was taking a U.S. history test for Grifo.  Miles is a hot guy.  He used to be in ROCK with me and he would always say hi to me or start talking to me, but now he doesn't even say hi and he is in my math class too.  I saw Noah who I have know since we were in the first grade.  He walked passed me and I was about to faunt.  Tomorrow is thursaday which means one more day closer to the weekend. 

Day to Day

I got an awesome grade on my physio quiz.  It was a B+.  Best I have ever done in science class.  The beginning of my day was great but the end got really boring and I just wanted to go home.  My sister keeps saying "Your welcome" after she says something rude.  She being the same way that Sadie is on Awkward and I don't think that is a good thing for my sister to be.  Because the person who plays Sadie is such a bitch.  I can't wait for the new Awkward episode. 

Another Day

Well today was another day.  I freakin' failed my math test, D+.  Why doesn't geometry stick in my head, I know how to do algebra really well.  I had to do test corrections and it was really hard for me because I didn't want to do them but my AW teacher made me do them.  My comacad classes were really boring and I didn't do anything.  All I could think about was the guy that I like and if maybe there was a future with him or not.  I look at every couple that is happy and I think about having a relationship and how better my life would be because then  I would have someone to share it with and I wouldn't have to be so lonely.   Also writing helps me a lot too. I can't wait until friday because then I can watch the new Awkward and see if Jenna picks Matty or Jake.  It's only monday night which means I still have 4 more days of school till my 3 day weekend.  Oh yeah. 

It's Sunday

Okay, so my mom keeps telling me that I have to lose weight some how and if I don't do it by myself then she will enroll me into some class.  Is what she said.  I rode my bike today and yesterday with her and my sister.  What else ddoes she want me do.  My sister and I got our rats toe nails trimmed and then we came home, she dropped the ball and one of her rats fingers got stuck in the ball and then my dad had to get it out.  Diamond was sreaming for her life, my sister feels very guilty after things happen to her rat.  Now I feel a little bit sick because I have watery eyes and a stuffy nose.  Tomorrow I have school again.  Poooooooooooooo

Long Week

Well school life has been boring/stressful as usual.  I had a geometry test this past thursday and it was really hard on 2 of the pages but the other ones were fine because it was review from last year and vocabulary.  I hate math.  I also had a physio quiz and I think that went pretty well.  At school yesterday there was a basketball meeting and now I really want to play because the varsity coach is a dad of one of the seniors who are playing.  I want to play so bad.  I just watched the newest episode of Awkward and it was amazing.  Kind of confusing at first but then I got it.  I am so excited for the new episodes, I hope that Jenna chooses Matty for her true love.  Team Matty all the way.  I took a long bike ride with my mom and sister and it was good, I got a really bad wedgey from my seat and my knees hurt now too.  

Scandia Day

Today my sister, dad and I went to Scandia.  We went on the go-karts, bumper boats and we played aracade games.  Also we played mini golf.  There was a really cute guy that my sister met because he had a baby lizard on him and she was really insterested with the lizard.  But the guy was super cute and I was hopeing that my sister was going to ask him what he's name was but she never did.  I depend on my social sister to ask cute guys names.  All around today was a pretty good day.  Also it's already September where has the days gone. 

date September 2, 2012